Tonight, while I was eating dinner with my family, I felt something in me that I’ve never experienced before.
Last year, I missed Albany like crazy while I was away for my job. I missed it to the point where I couldn’t look at AllOverAlbany.com or the Times Union and would let out a “rah rah roar” (if you know me, that will make sense, if not, you probably think I’m insane, but that’s cool. we all have our quirks.) whenever I streamed WEQX. When I would visit the city while I was unemployed I would feel so frustrated because I was a visitor and I wasn’t living there. It felt as if something was absent in my heart.
Tonight, I didn’t feel that. In fact, it was shocking. I don’t know how to explain it but I’m not feeling the “OH MY GOD I NEED TO GET BACK IN THE 518 STAT” feeling that was so prevalent in the past. I know that it’s not because I don’t miss my friends or care about the community issues I want to work on. I do miss my friends. I’m disappointed I won’t be attending the October Neighborhood Association meeting or Albany Bike Rescue meetings.
I think part of me is gearing up for what my next position will entail. There’s no doubt about it, this kind of work hardens you and I need to focus my attention at the priorities at hand. I also think part of me doesn’t miss my Albany life because I know that it will be there for me when I come back. All throughout that past gig, I was so worried about if life would be the same when I got back after four months, and to my surprise…it was. Everything was exactly how I left it. My friends still loved me and my baby brothers remembered me (they’re 6, 4, and 2). Of course, I’m sure the reason why this was the case is because even when I’m away, I still make it a point to treat the ones I care about like gold.
So yeah. I feel good about this new direction.
Until then, I’m going to spend time with my family and chill out with my dogs. I won’t be doing much of that soon.